How it all began: 31/12/09 -

So here it is my narcassistic page of golden syrup on toast and there you are the faceless crown i'm telling my tale to, gratis therapy of the 21st century....

You my lil blogger friends are invited along for the ride but i'm warning you now, it ain't going to be easy as we both know its not like it is in the movies... this is going to be one gnaryly self absorbed, rocky road and you'll need to pull your socks up if you are going to keep up!





Wednesday, 20 October 2010

Plan, Plan and Plan again

Right so a few things have happened since I last blogged so lets see if I can get you up to date.

Red came over on Saturday, we caught up - she has been on a couple of dates with Billy but it seems she initiates and he gets back to her on the day to let her know if he is going to show up so not an ideal situation.  She also gave him several books as he is studying English Lit as part of his course, he didn't say thanks but took them all the same.  Yes bloggers, Billy is not a good egg.  Anyway she blew him off to meet with me on Saturday night so I think its game over. 

We ordered chinese, put the world to rights and as the other one didn't work out, re-booked speed dating for the 10th November.  Six has booked on the same event too, so it will be an interesting event as Six and Red are like chalk and cheese.

I hung out with Mr X for an hour or so last night, we caught up and chatted and it was nice.  I do miss that we aren't as close these days but we really have both changed so much and its probably less destructive to be at arms distance from each other too. 

Herb, my best friend since high school is flying over tonight, we were meant to go and see a gig tomorrow night for a band we both love (but I forgot to buy my ticket and now can't get one for under £110 which is insane as they were only £14 to start with).  I need an action plan.  Anyway she is here until Sunday and as I haven't seen her since August, we have a lot of catching up to do which will be great.

I also spoke with Walliams last week to see if he fancied hosting a Halloween party at our flat and he is up for it... in fact, we have taken the concept to extremes the last couple of days and it is going to be epic!

ENTRANCE
  • Signs all the way up the stairwell directing to the mortuary with helium balloons attached to the stairs.
  • A pumpkin outside the front door.
  • Dark Purple and Green lighting in the hallway with home made gravestones down each wall and spiders hanging on invisible wire above.
KITCHEN
  • Fitted out like an operating theatre, the room lit up with fairy lights above the upper cabinets which will have coloured jars filled with weird bits and pieces from the butchers.
  • A diagram of the 'human centipede' on the wall (if you don't know what i'm talking about youtube it), below which a table with drinks and gory delights such as: cat litter cake, pumpkin cider and shots of bloody mary served in surgical syringes.
  • A cover on the fridge which makes it look like a gruesome tale (not home made), pictures of old fashioned pill bottles and jars at the back of the work surfaces and a pan on the cooker filled with fake bones and smoking with dry ice.
BATHROOM
  • A chalk outline on the floor where Walliams has lied down and I have drawn round him
  • A wolf hand coming out of the back of the toilet
  • A bath filled with water dyed a deep red and made slightly goopy with vegetarian gelatine, in which will be a full size female mannequin with a (cardboard, home made) razorblade in her hands.  The tiles round the bath will have bloody hand prints.  The bath will have bright green apples in it also for dunking games later.
  • The whole room will be lit by deep red candles (think Jane Eyre).
  • Caution tape round the room.
LIVING ROOM
  • Lit solely by a 5ft UV blacklight hanging on the far wall, below which a graveyard scene setter (bought) will hang.
  • Bats and ghosts made from cardboard, bin bags and paper hanging from the roof with fishing wire with glowing eyes.
  • A wall full of eyes lit up by the UV light.
  • Blood stained sheets on the sofa's and book shelf to protect and glow.
  • UV helium balloons glowing around the ceiling.
  • We have also started making tonic water ice cubes in the freezer so any drinks taken into the living room will glow blue.
ENTERTAINMENT
  • We've created a set of 8 challenges and will split the party into 2 groups, one for me and one for Walliams once everyone has arrived and will take an hour out of the flat and in the surrounding area to complete them and take photographs along the way.
Yep, I think it will be pretty great.  And hopefully it will go towards improving my mood dragging me out this sticky rut too.

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Feeder - Just the way I'm Feeling
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xtuctFPHbhQ

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