How it all began: 31/12/09 -

So here it is my narcassistic page of golden syrup on toast and there you are the faceless crown i'm telling my tale to, gratis therapy of the 21st century....

You my lil blogger friends are invited along for the ride but i'm warning you now, it ain't going to be easy as we both know its not like it is in the movies... this is going to be one gnaryly self absorbed, rocky road and you'll need to pull your socks up if you are going to keep up!





Tuesday 6 April 2010

Calorie Counting

Why is it that almost every girl I know is on a diet at the moment?  Red is counting calories despite looking increasingly gaunt in the face, all the girls at work are either on diets or have signed up for 'boot camp' - 2hrs of what can only be described as painful insanity 4 days a week at the park behind my flat.

I've never been on a diet, don't get me wrong, I could probably do with losing a few pounds and have even started to change the way I eat this year and have lost just under 10kg so far but I just don't buy into this whole 'don't eat anything bad' and 'exercise until you are miserable' nonsense.

I mean there are other ways to lose weight, eating a little bit less than you want, cutting out 60/70% of snacks rather than all of them and more bareable types of exercise than running round the park pushing a tractor tyre while some middle aged wannabe drill sergent is screaming in your ear - no thankyou!!

It takes more calories to eat and digest a stick of celery than is in the celery itself - fact!  Doing housework can burn just as many calories as a cardio workout at the gym if done with enough feist, chewing gum burns calories, and as for enjoyable... vigarous sex is also high on the calorie burning list although disappointingly, an orgasm only burns a mere 7 calories.

My advice?   

Grab your guy, get on top, have a giggle and while you are up there chew gum, have a stick of celery for eating in your left hand and the hoover in your right - talk about a multi-tasking genius!  A happy bf, a clean flat and a skinny you!  And if you really want to show off... double up and turn the 7 for an O(hhhh) into 14 by doubling up :o)

And for the more advanced among of we females... the correct outfit!  You guys are probably totally oblivious to this but looking all sex kitten like - actually quite difficult and corset wearing must burn at least 200 calories (no word of a lie), those things were not designed for solo-dressing, its all arms, elbows and twisting to push, shove and suck things into place.

A tasty treat for those of you who have enjoyed today's blog and think perhaps weightloss the serendipity way sounds like more fun:  http://www.c4vct.com/kym/humor/csex.htm

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Stacie Orrico, More to Life

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