Goodbye 2010

Well New Years Eve/Hogmanay is here my lil bloggers and so far things are going to plan.

I've really enjoyed our year together which is something I didn't expect considering the start up of this blog was a whim a year ago today.  Almost 700 hits this week means that somewhere out there are people that have enjoyed reading and have followed my bitter sweet page of golden syrup on toast; and that I am signing off on a high.

I would have liked to be logging out tomorrow with a hunky guy in tow, a more together me and 101 other things like a lottery win, but you know as well as I do that life doesn't work like that.  I don't think I have done too badly though - most the challenges I set myself throughout the year I followed through on - the good the bad and the ugly repercussions following. 

Ok take back the going to plan part... Red just called and has been hustled into a family thing so can't meet until 9:30 and as its a small one this year (as I was meant to be going to Edin but had to change plans with the weather last week as it was too risky), this leaves me and Harmony (who drinks little to nothing since the gastric band) until we meet.  I have a feeling that I may be a drunk little Ser3ndipity by the time we meet, especially as Walliams and his friends will be here.  Will I let it bring me down tho... No, I sure as hell won't!

I'll log in for my final blog tomorrow and tell you any juice from the night.  You never know, I might be swept off my feet by a super hot amazing guy at the stroke of midnight :)

Have a great New Year bloggers and I will see you in 2010.

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2010 you have been a rollercoaster.... I will not be sorry to see you go so 2011 and I can kick back with a glass or Pinot and give you the finger!

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Auld Lang Syne (Punk Styleee - would you expect any different?) - The Baghdaddios

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvzJx_vhFog

3 Days Left

Well bloggers we have been together almost a year now... it seems like just yesterday I had been screwed around for New Year and decided to make this little venture, and yet at the same time I feel I have been writing to you and spilling the beans on the ins and outs of my life for forever!

Have you enjoyed the journey?

I'm not sure I've accomplished everything I had set out to do but there have been some interesting events along the way...

• Auditioning for a band
• Bringing in my 28th birthday by crowd surfing at a gig wearing pink wellies
• Changing my hair from long and blonde to dark and brunette
• Hitting an all time low and being prescribed 'happy pills', then self anti-prescribing them
• Joining Roller Derby
• Moving in 'Roomie' A mental flatmate
• Balloo climbing into my bed uninvited
• Internet dating and being force fed sushi
• Ex boyfriends and flings getting in touch and sending me sexts unexpectedly
• Travelling to Download festival with two randoms I had never met and sleeping in a barge in a hippie commune
• Finding someone that made me think I want to date again in the gorgeous tattoo'd and pierced De Longue
• Jury Duty
• Getting micro-dermal piercings on a whim
• Going through a seriously horny patch
• Getting a tattoo on a slightly bigger whim
• Going through a broody patch
• Enduring the trauma that was the Shouching incident and having the word 'Shoucher' published on Urban Dictionary
• Hosting what turned out to be an Epic Halloween party
• Speed Dating

Yep, it has been a pretty eventful year when you look at it like that  =)

I have however just realised that my promises to hit the wicked world of chat roulette was never played out and so tonight, so I can add it to the above list, I will log on and report back before the blog ends.  Consider it my last piece of random filth just for you.

Will you miss me?

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Frou Frou - Let Go

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x52w8txtiQs

Iris

OMG I am soooooooooo Kate Winslet's character Iris in The Holiday!!

I'm also in live with Jude Law's character. *sigh


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Iris - The Goo Goo Dolls
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NdYWuo9OFAw

When the Stars Align

I have a feeling that while 2010 has been nothing but an uphill struggle for me emotionally and mentally 2011 will somehow fall into place.  The fog will lift, the stars will somehow align and for the first time in a long time luck will go my way.

I'm not one of those people that sees the new year as a fresh start or a new beginning, but this year I just have that feeling and I'm really looking forward to it.  I mean, I can't possibly start of the New Year as terribly as last year and so already things are looking up.

I didn't meet Red today as she is feeling under the weather so we are going to meet for a quick coffee and to pick up our New Years Eve tickets tomorrow and then its back to bed with her so she is feeling 100% for the 31st.

El Dempasso, OOJ and (I'm not sure if I gave this guy a name - I really should have kept track - I'll call him Radiohead as one of the reasons we ended up together was because I fell for his voice when he sang to me a song by the goo goo dolls and recently sent me a clip of him singing radiohead) Radiohead, all asking if I wanted to meet up for drinks.  I just have to find men equally if not more keen in this coming year :)  I think it will be a long time before I let someone else in but I am definitely ready for some fun and the tingle of first kisses again.

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The song today is sung by a guy that my family mentioned over Christmas looks a lot like Mr X... I can kind of see it.

Olly Murs - Please Don't Let Me Go

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4S9gQb9PjM

Chillaxing & Complaints

I've had a really relaxed day today... in fact, i'm still in my PJs :)  I got my shopping delivered this morning, mooched about in front of the tv this lunchtime, had a couple of drinks this afternoon, a tasty dinner, read a little and watched I am Legend.

I've been texting Balloo, El Dempasso, OOJ, Pooch, my brother and my mum for entertainment.

Its great to be in a clean, tidy and peaceful flat for a change, I just wish I had a couple more days of it.  Walliams is back on the 30th and I'm meeting Red tomorrow so I imagine today will need to be my fill of alone time for a while.

Ok so Christmas update.

Mum was on good form and joined in with things with the nephews this time around which was good.  We played the good old post-it note on the head game, monopoly, frustration and cards over the course.  My brother and I got to chat a lot and get a little drunk so that was great.  And, the Christmas presents seemed to go down well so I haven't lost my touch yet... yet!

I got a hat from mum, a candle from my nephews, perfume and a willow tree figure from Mr X and a 'make your own morph' kit and 'what would you do for a fiver' book from Herb. 

Balloo wasn't too impressed with his subscription to match.com from Herb and I, he asked how much it was to pay the money back - we refused to say, he said he wouldn't log in - he did, he said he would delete his profile - he didn't, he said he wouldn't use it - so far... he hasn't :(   I really do hope he uses it, I mean if he wanted to be single then fine, or if he was happy finding someone the usual way fine, but the reality is that he whines about being single all the time!!! Via text, on the phone, on facebook, in person... and we are all sick of it!  Sick of listening to it when he is doing bugger all about changing it.  If he doesn't use it at all I think my head might explode next time he complains.

Arrghhhhhh! People like that so annoy me.  People have bigger problems and get on with it.  I have bigger problems and get on with it.  So do something about it, or shut up.

Self Pity: D H Lawrence

I never saw a wild thing

sorry for itself.

A small bird will drop frozen dead from a boug

without ever having felt sorry for itself.

Trade..?

Here is my proposal...

I will trade a photo of me in return for a photo of you. But, I will only trade with the first 5 people that email me.

Offer expires in 24hrs

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Linkin Park - Dust in the Wind
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JOCfbd_3UsU

Home

I'm back... I'm back home!

I'm shattered but i'm back.  I'll fill you in fully tomorrow bloggerino's.

x

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Girls Aloud - The Promise
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y3qxUqwrNDA

Tipsy

Drunk with family and loving it... Even if it is a rather quiet and understated day.

Happy Christmas

Happy Christmas bloggers!

I hope you are all well and are spending the day somewhere that makes you happy found something that makes you smile.

Ps: I have it on good authority that Santa still gives presents to people on the naughty list if the act that got you there gave him a chuckle ;)

Xx

Avocaat & Snowballs

I'm still on my phone and limited net so I'll just give you a run down in brief.

Water outage, no shower, walk to shops to carry back a crap load of water. Quick online chat with Mr X before his holiday flight home. Unexpected but fun chat with OOJ about christmas and random things. Trip to my brothers where I'm staying tonight and tomorrow. Catchup with him and sister in law. Chinese food. Snowballs (Mmmmm) and Chinese food (not so Mmmmm). A game of cluedo with my nephews. A game of guess the present if given random clues with the nephews. Gf chat with the nephews. A shower (yey! water at my brothers) in a house with a semi-broken boiler (not so yey). Peep show. Port and lemonade. Another port and lemonade. Chat over my brother and sister in laws plans to foster. Cheesecake making. Peep show. Text from mr x to say his plane has landed at his Xmas destination. Game of dead leg with my youngest nephew. Brussel sprout dog farts. Bed.

Choo choo spew

Im still on a phone with limited net bloggers so another short one.

The train journey to the family Christmas was awful, roasting packed train, I had a seat but it was backwards and the worst bit... Right beside a stinking poo splattered (I'm guessing from the smell) toilet of doom! 20mins in and I had to spend the rest of the journey taking myself out of being sick! £90 for a ticket and I was no better off than hitch hiking with a soiled nappy tied to my face.

My dad died 9yrs ago today so it's been up and down emotionally for me today. Mum and I sat on her bed drinking hot choc and watching tv while giggling and laughing earlier. Did the both of us good I think.

Packing and Pricks

I'm on my phone and it's almost midnight so I'm going to keep this short or I'll bf typing forever just to get 1/2 a story out.

Walliams is officially off my Christmas card list... Officially! I gave his Xmas present (a bottle of posh mulled wine and a box of blacks organic chocs to mr x tonight as he had forgotten to buy for someone and I had decided Walliams was a prick). I will fill you in on the details tomorrow.

Got a train to catch in a dew hours so I'll update you on the details when I'm On it an surfing the free first class wifi.

night bloggers x

Perspiring Alcohol

I just came from mr x's where I had been an hour or so to find Walliams slumped against our next door neighbours door drunk as a skunk.

Barely able to stand he was smelling like a brewery, is as white as a sheep with purple lips, has black eyes his pupils are that dilated, can barely speak let alone string a sentence together... And once helped into the flat got lost looking for the toilet.

Let's hope he is so drunk all he can do is sleep because anything else and this is gonna be a looooong night!

Wakey Wakey

My morning was a break from what has been the norm today...

I awoke to a text from El Dempasso saying he had logged into an application on his iPhone from yonks ago which he had set my profile picture to a photo of my breasts.  I used the application way back when we were flirting etc.  Anyway the giggle over that soon turned into some saucy texts and before I knew it I had recieved a photo of his cock and so decided to start the day with a visit to my bottom bedside draw and the bunny!  It would have been rude not to!

This afternoon I went to get my hair done for the festive period before making a huge hairstyle change for my appointment booked in the new year. I'm thinking blonde again with some seriously outrageous flashes of colour (all of which that can be hidden for any kind of work related activity) but am open to suggestions.

Not sure if I'm going to make the family christmas, trains have been cancelled today and the weather is only set to get worse over the next few days - watch this space.

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2 Live Crew - Me So Horny

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t0oALRL7uyY

I'm Back

I can see again so lets see if I can get you up to speed.  In no particular order...

My flat is a total disaster zone, Walliams is despite in his coursework despite gaining an extension for everything.  This has resulted in many 3am 4 course meal cooking sessions (he is a weird little badger), a distinct lack of showers for him (yuck), and accompany that with me not being well and so not doing things... a flat that looks as if WW3 has just kicked off there.

Balloo was meant to be staying at my flat as he was in town for a gig on Thursday night, but as I was feeling about as sociable as a fish on a sunbed he met up with someone else and crashed at their place.  He shot down to London yesterday and was meant to be here tonight but is currently struggling to get back up so we have called another rain check.  I posted his Christmas present this morning.

Herb arrived 1am Saturday morning after a delayed journey from up North for a wedding on Saturday.  We headed into town Christmas shopping yesterday before the snow kicked in quite heavily and we had to head back to the flat.  We amused ourselves last night by getting Balloo's Christmas present sorted - a 3month subscription to Match.com to give him the push up the bum he needs to get dating.  We have pimped his profile, set up an email address and he is good to go for when he opens his present on Christmas day - A card with a picture of breasts on the front containing the details he needs to log in and meet lil miss perfect. 

I met Red this evening after Herb left for a quick pre-christmas catchup.  We headed out for a quick bite to eat (mmmmmm nacho's) and a couple of cocktails before jumping a taxi as despite my brisk walk into town the temperature had dropped from the -6 it had been to -10 and so was deemed too cold to walk home.

I popped over to Mr X's when I got back for 10mins or so, he was in a grouch which seems to be the way of things at the moment as he is being abused by work and never has any spare time and is useless at pushing back.  I dropped off his xmas present and gifts for his sister and neice and am now sat on my couch wirting this blog to you that I started at 1 o'clock this afternoon.

If i write anymore this blog will be overkill so I'll love ya and leave ya.

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First Christmas song this year!
The Pogues - Fairytale of New York
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HwHyuraau4Q

Migrane

Hello,

Serious case of migrane going on at this end the last 3 days and still today... hence no blog.  I'll be back online when I can log on for longer than 30seconds without feeling like an axe is going through my head.

I did find the track that I was trying to remember in the 'Cat Wars' blog so here it is along with the video I was describing (just give it a few seconds to kick in)

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DeVotchka - How It Ends
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TOnjvj5OhKA

No Reply

Arggghhh it annoys me so much when you hear from a person lots as soon as they want something and then after that its like they can't even be bothered to reply to a message... And no, I'm not talking about one particular person it seems to be a bit of a theme at the moment and one I'm going to put a stop to right now.

I've not felt great today so nothing much to report as I've had the social interactions of a hermit.  I did however text Avril as it was her birthday today, so we are meeting early week for a boozy lunch which I am sure could be interesting.

No photo or music today as for some reason the blog server is rejecting my requests... It seems i'm being ignored from all angles today.

Happiness is a by-product

I've had a pretty *bleugh day. 

Walliams is slacking big time on the housework so yet again today i've had to clean up a weeks worth of his mess.  He was in bed when I decided I'd had enough and I wasn't quiet.  I headed out this afternoon and he was in his room when I came back, I shouted hello but I think he knows he will have to 'face the music' if he comes out so I think he has pretended to be asleep.  I know he is in though.

I have a headache, a ton of laundry, my bedroom to clean (Its kinda turned into chaos this last week), and about 101 things I can't be assed to do piled up on the task list.

Robertson Davies once said:
'Happiness is always a by-product. It is probably a matter of temperament, and for anything I know it may be glandular. But it is not something that can be demanded from life, and if you are not happy you had better stop worrying about it and see what treasures you can pluck from your own brand of unhappiness.'

 I've just ordered takeout and am about to pour myself a bacardi and coke.  I also think a candlelit bubblebath is on the cards.

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William Bell - Everyday will be like a holiday
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M1mUHHDBN6w

Goodbye Great Britain

'Education is a better safeguard of liberty than a standing army'
Edward Everett
I think today the youth of Britain got metaphorically castrated!

I was at one of the protests against the increase in tuition fees today.  It was a cert that the bill would be passed, but never the less it is important that if you feel that strongly against something you somehow make that opinion heard. 

Since getting back in I've watched the news and it seems a lot kicked off today.  Where I was I have to say things got a little bit violent, more so because the police crammed everyone into a tiny space where no-one could move, breath etc.  Put people in a situation like that and accompany it with a few police men who are nothing less than scum in a uniform edging for a fight and of course things kick off.

I'm not hugely into politics as you know, but I do believe that you can't complain about things if you don't vote and so I try to vote every year.  This year I voted Lib Dem.... What a mistake!  The sole reason I voted for the party was because of their policy on tuition fees  and now look what has happened.  Nick Clegg has taken my vote and rammed it up my ass sideways!

Education for the rich it appears is how Britain intends to move forward.  For a girl who has worked hard for what she has and comes from a poor council estate and a definite working class background (both parents worked in factories), I am completely disheartened at what happened today.

To the rescue

Walliams is having laptop issues and has a paper due tomorrow and one that was due 4pm today he is still working on so I've had to give him my laptop as his crAhed and burned earlier.

I'll blog you tomorrow when I'm back up and running.

Ser3ndipity to the rescue... Prince Charming eat your heart out!

Cat Wars

Well bloggerino's I've had issues with my laptop and my internet connection most of the day/night so I'll keep this one short.  I didn't get on to chat roulette last night so I will report back tomorrow on my *ahem findings.

Nothing much to report as it was waaaaay too icy to head out anywhere today or for anyone to get here to come and see me so other than crap tv I have done very little with my day.

I did however manage to make it far enough to buy water guns from a local(ish) store.  The cats have been waging war on both my and Walliam's ears of late, getting up super early and meowing until we are both up and where they want us to be and then meowing sporadically throughout the day like spoilt little children if we aren't jumping to their attention.  I'm talking hours here... and no before you think its animal cruelty they are fed, watered, cleaned and played with every day without fail.  Nope, this is just a case of the kitten teenagers.  So to combat this stroppy behaviour I've invested in water guns and so excessive noise for no reason will now be met with a short sharp burst of water and quite cute kitty cats will get extra love and attention. 

Kitty Cats... This is War!

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I knew which song I wanted to put here but it seems i've deleted it and can't remember the name so see if you can remember and if so let me know.  It was the tune from the xbox game that was on a few years ago where a group of guys in suits get into a giant machines that bury their way into the earth in order to save the earth.  They were all like super buff men and the song was buy a guy or band with a weird name, beginning with an A I think?!?

Snow & Sexual Voyourism

You would think the world had ended... we are useless at everything in this weather and the amount of jibber jabber surrounding the snow on facebook is enough to make me want to pay for 80% of the population to migrate.  Strap on a pair of wellies and walk to work!! Sheeesh!

I went to the cinema (with Mr X) to see the film American tonight; well actually I went to see something else but as the cinema was closing early we were forced to pick something else so American it was.  Art house and moving the critics say, fake breasts, bad acting, no storyline and a waste of 2hrs is what I say.   

On a random and tenuously linked note, have you guys heard of chat roulette?  Its this site where once on it you are prompted to connect or enable your webcam and microphone and it then connects you to someone else's webcam and microphone somewhere else in the world - yes that's right, a potential forum for the voyeuristic and of course, serial masturbater's. For the rest of us?  An opportunity to laugh at this wonderful world of freaks and geeks.  I have known about it for a while but it popped into my mind again when i was talking to Herb the other day and she and Barron hooked up to it for a 10min giggle the other day.  

Anyway I am going to add it to my list of things to do/see before I am 30 (hey if watching a 3min snippet of 2 girls 1 cup is on there for random experiences, then this needs to be also)  I may also cross it off tonight before hitting the hay. I will report back tomorrow.

All in the name of science of course :p

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I Love this song at the moment! And Dougie, inappropriately young but hot.

McFly Feat. Taio Cruz- Shine A Light

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VIPEL04GsRU

Sweet Dreams

I had the most awesome dream last night.  It was hot, romantic, saucy and sexy and involved a super hot guy (that I reccognise from nowhere), if I believed in signs I would be keeping my eye on the lookout for him.

I love dreams, I mean I absolutely love them.  I never seem to become anyone else in my dreams, I never have superhero powers or look any different but in my dreams mannn does life go my way.  Don't get me wrong, I mean I have nightmares and screw with your mind dreams too that have me waking up all spooked, but wow can a good dream set you up for the day.

In my dream this guy, this hot guy is sat on a high chair beside me at a bar where I am with a few friends and for some reason my mum (although she looks different), he has met us through some sort of event we were visiting, something perhaps work related for me?.  It is all very pleasant but as we are talking and I'm peeking at him out the corner of my eye thinking he is cute and that he has fantastic lips he touches my hand slightly.  I touch back and that is it, in the bar, out of sight, I am holding hands with this amazingly witty, handsome and charming guy and everything somehow falls into place.

I woke up feeling great.

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Jason Walker - Down

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ojbVL7qt3o0

Maneater

I've got time off over Christmas so am deciding whether to head down and do the family thing or to do the family thing just before and have people over who are having to work, are stuck in town or are on their own.

I decided If I was going to do the latter I would need to find out speculatively who would be about and in doing so dropped  a few friends a text along with a guy from work - Pooch (am calling him that as he introduced me to the phrase screwed the pooch).  Pooch is the same age as me and is one of my newer friends, he and his girlfriend who I shall call 'waves' (as the first time I met her was at the Barenaked Ladies gig and all she did the entire time was wave at the stage/band like a slightly lovable idiot) came to the halloween party dressed as CSI people. 

Anyway... Pooch told me he is working over Christmas which sucks and said he would be up for coming over boxing day for drinks/nibbles but would prob have to rain check as Waves would probably object.  Oh and I invited them both before you get any ideas.  Apparently Waves isn't too keen on me becuase she thinks i'm a... wait for it... A party girl man eater!!

Hahahaha yes a man eater!  I love it!  You invite a guy you work with and his girlfriend out for drinks after work one day... he comes, she doesn't and he rolls home at 4am and you are a bad influence.  You invite him and his girlfriend to a halloween party where everyone has a great time apart from paramedic fanny girl and somehow that makes me a man eater!  There must have been too many men at the party for her liking or something.  Pooch says she thinks I do my makeup very seductively also, I mean... of course, hello, its the 21st century! I do love it tho.

 

And trust me bloggers, her boyfriend is safe!  A great guy but a guyliner wearing, tall, punky guy with prospects he is not!

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I could go for the obvious and play Maneater by Nelly Furtado but no, today its Cake - Short Skirt, Long Jacket

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OF43shMjs0o

Time Out

It is irrelevant why, but I've just landed 5 weeks off work, thats right bloggers, i'm officially free as a bird as of next week (when Uni finishes) until the 6th January... how will I keep myself entertained?

I suggested jetting off somewhere for 4 or 5 days to Six when she gets back from visiting her folks but it seems she has spent her entire bank account on crap and is now broke.  Similarly Red is brassic and is even debating letting out her spare room.  Mr X is for obvious reasons out of bounds.  Balloo is as always broke unless it is gig money.  Herb has a wedding here in 2 weeks and that is the last of her AL until Christmas and Avril is having to work solid after next week to bank some cash for next semester at Uni so the usual suspects are out.

I've always wanted to go on holiday on my own.  Sitting by the pool, reading a book, drinking wine, getting a great tan, listening to music etc. In reality however, I'm not brave enough...  Maybe if there was a specific kind of holiday resort where I would feel safe etc. I might consider it.

Going to make an action plan tomorrow (actually later today as its already past 1am).  I've been super restless today for some reason!

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Metallica - Nothing Else Matters
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6P--1elQwRE

Snowflakes

Apparently no two snowflakes are the same.

 

 I miss my dad, especially around this time of year.  I miss his kind face and the fact he choked up whenever I went home to visit, and every time I had to leave.  I miss joking about nothing and laughing about how we were 'working class'.  I miss the way I always felt safe whenever he was around and the smell of him - like tobacco and soap and paint mixed together.  I miss knowing that no matter what happened I could always go to him and everything would be ok.  I miss the fact I never had to tell him what was going on and he never had to give me words of advice, but with a look we both somehow knew.  I miss his hands.  I miss playing cards for pennies while drinking shandy and eating peanuts with him and mum.  I miss the sound of his cough - I mean how stupid is that, but I do.  I miss my hero.  I miss my dad.

Dad died two days before Christmas.  I had gone home to visit with some drama surrounding and my boyfriend at the time (Clutz) knew that the best thing for me would be to visit my dad.  Dad was taken into hospital the night we arrived.  After a day or two of worrying we were told that night at visiting that dad would be able to come home the next day.  We were giggling and laughing as usual in the hospital and he was joking with us and one of the nurses that he could stand on his oxygen tube and they would panic and come running.  Everyone seemed to warm to dad easily and he had built a good rapport over with the nurses.  We kissed him goodnight, and said we would see him the following day to pick him up. 

The phone rang at 2/3am that morning and without hearing the voice at the other end I knew dad had died.  They said he had a heart attack and went quickly with no pain; but I guess they always say that.

Mum crumbled and I was left to try and pick her up and organise things.  I've no idea how to organise a funeral to this day and yet somehow, at the time, age 20, I managed to do so.  I picked the flowers, organised the church, mum picked a casket as dad wanted to be cremated and I wrote the speech. 

I would have liked to read it myself but there was no way I would have been able to get the words out for crying/choking up - something I inherited from my dad.  I asked mum to read what I had written the day before as I had spoken about all the people in his life other than me as I didn't feel I could do that.  I hoped she would add something in, but she never did.

I still wonder if I hadn't taken my pile of crap home if he wouldn't have ended up in hospital, if the stress brought it all on?  I also wonder what he would think of me if he could see me today, would be be angry, sad, proud?  I miss him deeply and I'm not sure you ever get over that, I know I don't think I will.

My dad was like a snowflake.  One of a kind.  I miss him.

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I once played this at a school concert and I remember looking into the crowd and seeing my dads eyes how he would say 'proud as punch'.

Elaine Page - Memory

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RhlJZdQDz5E

Coming of Age

I read an article in a magazine today that was harping on about our first sexual experiences and how they change us forever and play a huge part in who we become - I'm not sure I buy it.

I had to think really really hard to remember what mine was and then when I did, I was shocked at myself and it made me giggle.  Kissing boys in the cupboard - no, playing i'll show you mine if you show me yours - no.  Give up?

My first sexual experience ladies and gentlemen was playing 'make believe' with the two girls from next door in my bedroom doing something that in 2010 terms would be called 'tribbing'.  Yes thats right bloggers, I was a hmmm 7/8yr wild child!

So what does that mean, I should be some lipstick lesbian or butch dyke?  Who knows.  All I can say for certain is... I <3 boys.

Anyway I'm sure that has given you some food for thought - Ciao Bella.

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Sophie B. Hawkins - Damn I wish I was your Lover

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQQpbRN1FrE

1 + 2 = 3

Second blog in a day.  I just got a text to say that Clutz and his wife had a baby boy this evening. 

Weird how things happen.

A Defining Age

I don't live like a 28yr old; or at least not how I expect a 28yr old to live. 

I have a room that I call my own and the rest of my 'home' is shared with a guy I met pretty much the day he moved in.  I have absolutely no idea where I am going, only a vague picture of where I want to be.  I want 101 things from life and have no idea where to start and while I over analyse some things too much, I jump into others without a second thought.  I've no house, no car, no boyfriend, no bulging bank account and right now... no career.

So why is it, that today when I was walking in the freezing cold down the street, all by myself wearing summer shoes (becuase I can't find any winter shoes I like so screwed up logic says not to buy any at all), 101 layers of clothing and not a single thing in my life going the right way at the moment I felt a chirpy little relaxed smile in the middle of me.  Life is confusing!

I'm not sure life gets more confusing as you get older because things are more... well... older, but some things never change.  I might have to work for a living, pay bills, etc. etc. etc. as the list goes on but a first kiss will still make my tummy flutter, christmas is somehow still magical and I still think in the back of my mind 'when I grow up...'

<3

I've dated probably three guys since high school that if I had stayed with them I'd probably be married by now.  I'm not being big headed but you kinda know when a guy is falling for you hard and has that future glint in their eye.   I tend to run when that happens, and run fast.  I've stayed in touch with two of the three and to this day I think if I hinted they wouldn't be too slow in asking me to give it another shot.  The third I haven't seen in years and apparently married a year or so after I ran from him as fast as my legs would take me.  I've no idea if it worked out for him.

I've fallen twice as you know.  Twice it hasn't worked out and twice I gave my whole heart and got it back in pieces - but it was worth the risk.  The first was Clutz who is married now and i'm not sure if I told you this, but he is expecting his first child in the next month or so.  The second was Mr X. 

The thing is, I think you have to risk it all in order to win.  Equally you have to be honest with yourself and cut all ties when you know that you are with someone who could make you happy but in a settled and compromising way, and that is where I excel.  When the going gets mediocre, I get going.

I think i'm in a minority.  I mean, I think a lot of people set out with ideals of being swept off their feet and not being able to believe their luck.  In reality?  Most people shove those thoughts to the side when Mr or Miss 'nice' comes along and treats them right. 

I'm not that girl right now and I never want to be her. In work, in love, in life... I want to stay right where I am right now, reaching for the moon.  Maybe that's a brave thing to do and maybe one day it will pay off, or maybe I'll be eternally disappointed; I guess only time will tell.

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I love this song

The Script - Breakeven

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uQHyBMXFTaw

Ice Cube

I'm an ice cube, a human ice cube I tell you! Its freeeeeezing!  I actually had to get under the covers on my bed for 30mins earlier this evening just to heat up for a while.

Today has been pretty much non-descript.  I've had Biffy Clyro Machines in my head all day so tomorrow I'm going to make a point of learning it on the guitar to gain back some kind of sanity.  I went to the cinema with Mr X this evening to see the pre-screening of Unstoppable - it was great and Denzel as awesome was on form.  Oh, and I made a 30min or so appearance at the anti-uncapping tuition fee raleigh that left from the University early evening.

Tomorrow I'm going to do some Uni work (goes without saying), clean the flat, maybe pop into town to buy some winter boots and new guitar strings, and go food shopping as tonight's dinner consisted of a packet of microwave mushroom rice :s

No tune for you tonight bloggerino's as the only tune stuck in my head is the same as yesterdays.

Night.

I heart Cappie

I went for a huge walk yesterday, cleared out my head and it was great.  I hit the hay super early last night and slept like a baby so I'm going to do the same today.

Ok so here is the juice from the weekend:

Travelling back in time...

SATURDAY

Mr X and I text early on in the day and met up around 2pm with the plan of getting a train to the coast, going for a walk, getting the ferry to (wherever the ferry goes), having lunch and then whatever.  What actually went down was totally different:

• Got a day ticket for the subway and went round the route a couple of times people watching, taking photos and chatting.
• Walked through town and round the christmas market.
• Headed to the cinema and saw an awful film called 'skyline' giggling the whole way through at the dramatic and yet pants storyline.
• Walked back through town towards home.
• Stopped by a local bar and had a couple of ciders outside in the beer garden soaking up the crisp christmasy air.

Mr X asked if I wanted to hang out later, but it was a great day with lots of giggles, no arguments and no difficult times so we hung out for about 30mins, playing with the cats and mooching and then after that I said night.

SUNDAY

I headed to the whole sale store to pick up supplies with Mr X (he has a 4x4 so drives me whenever I need to go in return for my 'additional person' card which works out well), then picked up Herb and headed back to the flat.

We mooched most the night, ordered in takeout, watched a movie and put the world to rights before she fell asleep on the couch.  I made her bed, woke her up and hit the hay shortly after. 

On Monday Herb and I decided after the previous night's talk that we were going to buy Balloo a subscription to the 'my single best friend' dating site for christmas, pimp it out and hand him his login details as a bit of a kick up the bum.  He complains about being single all the time and does nothing about it so hopefully this will give him the motivation he needs.

OTHER STUFF

I lurrrrrve the TV series Greek and as I sold a brand new laptop and brand new Blackberry over the weekend which has pimped my bank account for christmas I think i'm going to treat myself to a couple of box sets.

I'm not going to lie though, I would marry one of the lead guys (Cappie) tomorrow if he asked.  He is gorrrrrgeous and in virtual land his personality is pretty perfect too.  Mmmmm Sexy! (and a photo just for you)

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Biffy Clyro - Machines

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JeqG4HgG5Go

Spent!

I'm absolutely shattered and had planned on telling you about my weekend but can barely keep my eyes open. Clearly old age has kicked in. Middle-aged was somehow bypassed as this lil bunny is about to hit the hay before 10pm
For the first time I can remember (other than being unwell).

Yawn!

Night campers x

Ouch!

I am feeling seriously hungover! About to try pep myself up as meeting Mr X in like 30.

Last night in a nutshell: beer, wine, gin. Not enough food. Bad pool playing. Good chat. Live music. Friend went in for a kiss, I shot him down.

Today in a nutshell: ouch

Something for the weekend

Robert Louis Stevenson once wrote: 'You cannot run away from a weakness; you must sometimes fight it out or perish'.

I've been getting my crap together this last few days, no crazy trip anywhere or mini adventure planned as yet but I haven't ruled it out. 

Plans for this weekend:

I can't remember if I came up with a name for him (i'll need to go back and look), but a friend from way back when that I caught up with when I went back to my high-school town over the summer is heading to his folks place for a holiday and is stopping by tomorrow for the day/night for a catch up.  I think I've mentioned this before but his marriage recently broke up and I think he has a thing for me so i'm hoping he isn't on a different wave length to me.

Mr X has asked if I want to hang out on Saturday so once my high school friend has left we are going to head out for the afternoon/night.  We caught up a few days ago and realised how much we have lost touch (which could be argued is a good thing but i'm eternally torn), so this is us making the effort.  I don't want to be with him because we would destroy each other and too much has passed but I think a part of me will always love Mr X.

Herb is staying over on Sunday as a friend from Uni is having her hen night in town this weekend, I think it will be a quiet one, but when Herb and I get together you never know.

The Rest:

I love this time of year.  I always think early set dusk, clear crisp night skies and the smell of winter in the air is romantic.  I always wished growing up that our house had been in the suburbs so I could be walked home by a date and kissed on the doorstep.  Don't get me wrong, I was a regular UK teenager so 'dates' at least in the American sense never really happened.... but a girl always secretly hopes.

I have to share:

Its 11pm at night and the tossers that live next door to me are having some kind of party... they are total waste of space 'big men' aka. weedy little drug taking, greacy haired, incapable of pronouncing words fully, footballer/white ghetto drug dealer wannabies.  And what kind of music do they play when they are blasting it out mid week... The scissor sisters and Eminem... Yes, I live beside seriously low class of scum and that says a lot considering this blogger is from a rough council estate where being able to do your 5 times table at the age of 16 is considered an achievement.

I haven't been sleeping too well lately so I'm hoping they don't help to keep me up tonight. Anyway, i'm off for a candlelit, relaxing (hopefully) bubble bath.  Night bloggers

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Adele - Make you feel my love

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0put0_a--Ng

Looking for Adventure

I've taken the week off work, and I've a reading week from University.  I've a little spare cash in my account and absolutely no-one else I know has the time or the money to do anything.

I need a break, a mini adventure... something to spring me back into life again. 

24hr SOS answers on a postcard (or in the comments section below please).  If someone comes up with something feasable I'm going to jump on it and report back in a few days.

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Alistair Griffin - Just Drive

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0NoSP7RzaJc

Going the Distance

I just watched the movie going the distance, it was great and watching it I could see the kind of relationship/boyfriend I want. 

Films shouldn't be able to make things all happy ending and simple and easy and nice guys/girls don't finish last.  It makes people like me all hopeful and mushy wishing on a star like.  Other films for me guilty of the same sin:  PS I love you, The Holiday, Just Like Heaven, Sleepless in Seattle, Twilight and for some reason Juno. 

Too much to ask to find a guy who doesn't sweep me off my feet and make massive romantic gestures but rather someone who I click with, who makes me laugh, who is honest, caring and most of all, likes me for me?  Impossible I think.

People always keep harping on about 'when you aren't looking someone will come along and knock you off your feet' and you know what, I'm not convinced.  At this moment in time not only am I not looking, I have almost lost faith in the entire male species altogether and whats that I see.... that's right there is no prince charming riding towards me on his white horse and nor is there some 6ft brown haired hot guy blown away by me and asking for my number so he can take me out on a date.

I hold you responsible for this Hollywood - do you hear me!

PS: Keep voting if you want me to keep the blog going or not on the left hand side... with over 50+ hits a day at the moment and only 5 votes, its poor show bloggers!

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Bruno Mars - Just the way you are

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LjhCEhWiKXk

Matches & Voting Day

Last night was a giggle for me watching the matches come through, Red seemed to be lapping up the vertual attention and giggling along the way, but it was Six who seemed to be struggling with it all, feeling somehow under pressure to get lots of 'yes' votes. 

I think here is the downside to speed dating.  I have never needed a boyfriend or a man in my life to make me feel significant and so if i'm not particularly attracted to anyone there then no-one being attracted to me isn't upsetting but rather makes sense.  It became apparent that Red and Six are clearly the other type.

Anyway here's how it went down.  Only 7 of the 12 guys have put in votes which means the other 5 were probably unimpressed with anyone to warrent putting in the info - I don't really see the point in that tbh but there you have it.

• Red was ticked by numbers: 2, 4, 5 and 7 (4 and 7 much to our amusement), none of which she was attracted to.
• Six was ticked by numbers: 1 and then later that afternoon when he changed his vote from a no to a yes, number 4 (again amusing), none of which she has chosen.
• I was ticked by numbers: 1 and 2.  Number 2 I had ticked so the website swapped our details - I'm not going to be chasing it up.

I'm not sure how sucessful I would rate speed dating, I mean it is a way of meeting a lot of people in a short space of time, but for it to be sucessful for me, I think I would need to either change my taste in men or find some kind of niche dating event.  I do however think that speed dating may be the perfect thing for Red, and both she and Six seem keen to go again.

BLOG

So it is nearing the end of our time together, a few of you have emailed me etc to say you are sad it is going to end etc. and I don't think I have come as far in this year as I had wanted to so this is what i'm thinking.

I'm going to put a vote on the left hand side and let you guys decide if I should extend my blog... keep it going until the day after my 30th birthday (so another year and a couple of months), or whether I should just end this as planned on 31st December this year.

Also, I want to try and boost the followers to this blog for the rest of its time.  I have between 40 - 60 hits on the site per day and want to get this to like 70 - 80.  I'm going to put a link to it in a few places but if you can think of anywhere let me know, or post it yourself, pass to friends etc.

Over and Out x

The Results

After some deliberation last night I fixed my hair, painted on my face, dug out a pair of heels and checked in for speed dating 101.

Six, Red and I were extremely uncertain when we arrived at the event but figured we were there so we would stay.  The night consisted of twelve 4min dates with a break after date number six.  We were handed a name badge, number and score sheet on arrival and each girl was seated at a numbered table, while the men moved from seat to seat as the night went on.  It was intimidating, scary, funny and eye opening.  Six and Red loved it and want us to book for an event on the 30th with a better age range saying this one was 'a trial run'. 

So here's the list of the dates:

1. Malaysian/American semi-pro tennis playing investment banker.  Nice guy, a pleasant speed date but too short and too thin physically.
2. Liverpudlian 6ft 5ish sales rep, prominent jaw, super white teeth and although still masculine, suspiciously plucked/waxed eyebrows.  We spoke about learning guitar which was unusual but nice. 
3. Short fair haired Investment banker, seemed completely out of his element, polite, boring and unoffensive chat.
4. Local, Short, super white veneered teeth distributor with a super flashy bling ring. One of the older people there.  Jack the lad chat.
5. Software consultant, lots of facial hair, exceptionally polite, nice to talk to and had a look of 'please let me meet 'the one'' in his eye.
6. Persian biological geneticist, over 6ft, older, pleasant chat, intense eye contact.
7. Mr 'I'm only here because my flatmate came a week ago and had a great time'.  No chat.  Longest 4mins of my life!
8. Young and balding, funny teacher who yearns for the quiet life.
9. Short super excited to be here and talking to women teacher.  Witty and charismatic if slightly unhinged.
10. Older, shaved head, well groomed teacher.  Intelligent and witty chat, designer clothes.
11. Short, attractive, preppy Investment banker.  Great conversation about music, likes gigs and recommended a band I should check out.
12. Middle aged(ish) school teacher, exceptionally drunk on red wine.  Red teeth, lips and face.  Drunken chat.

So as you can see a pretty mixed bag and no ideal man.  We girlies submitted our scores this afternoon.  Red was havering over whether to give number 5 a 'yes' but decided against it last minute ticking no-one.  Six ticked numbers 2, 5, 10 and 11.  I decided to tick number 11 as I could see us having a giggle if we met up despite him being too short for me to want to date, and number 2 because he is tall, has great teeth and I figured I might as well.

I'll let you know who ticks each of us tomorrow.

REST OF NIGHT

We headed to a bar and shortly after Six headed home.  Red and I stayed out until 2am in bars etc as neither of us had work today.  We had a great night, seemed to attract an abnormal amount of male attention.  I met a hot guy who sings in a band, he gave me his number, we chatted some more and then at the end of the night I discovered he was waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay younger than I had thought so a crashing halt was called and Red and I headed back to my flat for some munch before calling her a taxi.

All in all an ok night.

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Played this song to get me in the mood for heading out.

Four Year Strong - Semi Charmed Life

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=taTtC_WfNN4