Coming of Age

I read an article in a magazine today that was harping on about our first sexual experiences and how they change us forever and play a huge part in who we become - I'm not sure I buy it.

I had to think really really hard to remember what mine was and then when I did, I was shocked at myself and it made me giggle.  Kissing boys in the cupboard - no, playing i'll show you mine if you show me yours - no.  Give up?

My first sexual experience ladies and gentlemen was playing 'make believe' with the two girls from next door in my bedroom doing something that in 2010 terms would be called 'tribbing'.  Yes thats right bloggers, I was a hmmm 7/8yr wild child!

So what does that mean, I should be some lipstick lesbian or butch dyke?  Who knows.  All I can say for certain is... I <3 boys.

Anyway I'm sure that has given you some food for thought - Ciao Bella.

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Sophie B. Hawkins - Damn I wish I was your Lover

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQQpbRN1FrE

1 + 2 = 3

Second blog in a day.  I just got a text to say that Clutz and his wife had a baby boy this evening. 

Weird how things happen.

A Defining Age

I don't live like a 28yr old; or at least not how I expect a 28yr old to live. 

I have a room that I call my own and the rest of my 'home' is shared with a guy I met pretty much the day he moved in.  I have absolutely no idea where I am going, only a vague picture of where I want to be.  I want 101 things from life and have no idea where to start and while I over analyse some things too much, I jump into others without a second thought.  I've no house, no car, no boyfriend, no bulging bank account and right now... no career.

So why is it, that today when I was walking in the freezing cold down the street, all by myself wearing summer shoes (becuase I can't find any winter shoes I like so screwed up logic says not to buy any at all), 101 layers of clothing and not a single thing in my life going the right way at the moment I felt a chirpy little relaxed smile in the middle of me.  Life is confusing!

I'm not sure life gets more confusing as you get older because things are more... well... older, but some things never change.  I might have to work for a living, pay bills, etc. etc. etc. as the list goes on but a first kiss will still make my tummy flutter, christmas is somehow still magical and I still think in the back of my mind 'when I grow up...'

<3

I've dated probably three guys since high school that if I had stayed with them I'd probably be married by now.  I'm not being big headed but you kinda know when a guy is falling for you hard and has that future glint in their eye.   I tend to run when that happens, and run fast.  I've stayed in touch with two of the three and to this day I think if I hinted they wouldn't be too slow in asking me to give it another shot.  The third I haven't seen in years and apparently married a year or so after I ran from him as fast as my legs would take me.  I've no idea if it worked out for him.

I've fallen twice as you know.  Twice it hasn't worked out and twice I gave my whole heart and got it back in pieces - but it was worth the risk.  The first was Clutz who is married now and i'm not sure if I told you this, but he is expecting his first child in the next month or so.  The second was Mr X. 

The thing is, I think you have to risk it all in order to win.  Equally you have to be honest with yourself and cut all ties when you know that you are with someone who could make you happy but in a settled and compromising way, and that is where I excel.  When the going gets mediocre, I get going.

I think i'm in a minority.  I mean, I think a lot of people set out with ideals of being swept off their feet and not being able to believe their luck.  In reality?  Most people shove those thoughts to the side when Mr or Miss 'nice' comes along and treats them right. 

I'm not that girl right now and I never want to be her. In work, in love, in life... I want to stay right where I am right now, reaching for the moon.  Maybe that's a brave thing to do and maybe one day it will pay off, or maybe I'll be eternally disappointed; I guess only time will tell.

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I love this song

The Script - Breakeven

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uQHyBMXFTaw

Ice Cube

I'm an ice cube, a human ice cube I tell you! Its freeeeeezing!  I actually had to get under the covers on my bed for 30mins earlier this evening just to heat up for a while.

Today has been pretty much non-descript.  I've had Biffy Clyro Machines in my head all day so tomorrow I'm going to make a point of learning it on the guitar to gain back some kind of sanity.  I went to the cinema with Mr X this evening to see the pre-screening of Unstoppable - it was great and Denzel as awesome was on form.  Oh, and I made a 30min or so appearance at the anti-uncapping tuition fee raleigh that left from the University early evening.

Tomorrow I'm going to do some Uni work (goes without saying), clean the flat, maybe pop into town to buy some winter boots and new guitar strings, and go food shopping as tonight's dinner consisted of a packet of microwave mushroom rice :s

No tune for you tonight bloggerino's as the only tune stuck in my head is the same as yesterdays.

Night.

I heart Cappie

I went for a huge walk yesterday, cleared out my head and it was great.  I hit the hay super early last night and slept like a baby so I'm going to do the same today.

Ok so here is the juice from the weekend:

Travelling back in time...

SATURDAY

Mr X and I text early on in the day and met up around 2pm with the plan of getting a train to the coast, going for a walk, getting the ferry to (wherever the ferry goes), having lunch and then whatever.  What actually went down was totally different:

• Got a day ticket for the subway and went round the route a couple of times people watching, taking photos and chatting.
• Walked through town and round the christmas market.
• Headed to the cinema and saw an awful film called 'skyline' giggling the whole way through at the dramatic and yet pants storyline.
• Walked back through town towards home.
• Stopped by a local bar and had a couple of ciders outside in the beer garden soaking up the crisp christmasy air.

Mr X asked if I wanted to hang out later, but it was a great day with lots of giggles, no arguments and no difficult times so we hung out for about 30mins, playing with the cats and mooching and then after that I said night.

SUNDAY

I headed to the whole sale store to pick up supplies with Mr X (he has a 4x4 so drives me whenever I need to go in return for my 'additional person' card which works out well), then picked up Herb and headed back to the flat.

We mooched most the night, ordered in takeout, watched a movie and put the world to rights before she fell asleep on the couch.  I made her bed, woke her up and hit the hay shortly after. 

On Monday Herb and I decided after the previous night's talk that we were going to buy Balloo a subscription to the 'my single best friend' dating site for christmas, pimp it out and hand him his login details as a bit of a kick up the bum.  He complains about being single all the time and does nothing about it so hopefully this will give him the motivation he needs.

OTHER STUFF

I lurrrrrve the TV series Greek and as I sold a brand new laptop and brand new Blackberry over the weekend which has pimped my bank account for christmas I think i'm going to treat myself to a couple of box sets.

I'm not going to lie though, I would marry one of the lead guys (Cappie) tomorrow if he asked.  He is gorrrrrgeous and in virtual land his personality is pretty perfect too.  Mmmmm Sexy! (and a photo just for you)

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Biffy Clyro - Machines

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JeqG4HgG5Go

Spent!

I'm absolutely shattered and had planned on telling you about my weekend but can barely keep my eyes open. Clearly old age has kicked in. Middle-aged was somehow bypassed as this lil bunny is about to hit the hay before 10pm
For the first time I can remember (other than being unwell).

Yawn!

Night campers x

Ouch!

I am feeling seriously hungover! About to try pep myself up as meeting Mr X in like 30.

Last night in a nutshell: beer, wine, gin. Not enough food. Bad pool playing. Good chat. Live music. Friend went in for a kiss, I shot him down.

Today in a nutshell: ouch

Something for the weekend

Robert Louis Stevenson once wrote: 'You cannot run away from a weakness; you must sometimes fight it out or perish'.

I've been getting my crap together this last few days, no crazy trip anywhere or mini adventure planned as yet but I haven't ruled it out. 

Plans for this weekend:

I can't remember if I came up with a name for him (i'll need to go back and look), but a friend from way back when that I caught up with when I went back to my high-school town over the summer is heading to his folks place for a holiday and is stopping by tomorrow for the day/night for a catch up.  I think I've mentioned this before but his marriage recently broke up and I think he has a thing for me so i'm hoping he isn't on a different wave length to me.

Mr X has asked if I want to hang out on Saturday so once my high school friend has left we are going to head out for the afternoon/night.  We caught up a few days ago and realised how much we have lost touch (which could be argued is a good thing but i'm eternally torn), so this is us making the effort.  I don't want to be with him because we would destroy each other and too much has passed but I think a part of me will always love Mr X.

Herb is staying over on Sunday as a friend from Uni is having her hen night in town this weekend, I think it will be a quiet one, but when Herb and I get together you never know.

The Rest:

I love this time of year.  I always think early set dusk, clear crisp night skies and the smell of winter in the air is romantic.  I always wished growing up that our house had been in the suburbs so I could be walked home by a date and kissed on the doorstep.  Don't get me wrong, I was a regular UK teenager so 'dates' at least in the American sense never really happened.... but a girl always secretly hopes.

I have to share:

Its 11pm at night and the tossers that live next door to me are having some kind of party... they are total waste of space 'big men' aka. weedy little drug taking, greacy haired, incapable of pronouncing words fully, footballer/white ghetto drug dealer wannabies.  And what kind of music do they play when they are blasting it out mid week... The scissor sisters and Eminem... Yes, I live beside seriously low class of scum and that says a lot considering this blogger is from a rough council estate where being able to do your 5 times table at the age of 16 is considered an achievement.

I haven't been sleeping too well lately so I'm hoping they don't help to keep me up tonight. Anyway, i'm off for a candlelit, relaxing (hopefully) bubble bath.  Night bloggers

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Adele - Make you feel my love

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0put0_a--Ng

Looking for Adventure

I've taken the week off work, and I've a reading week from University.  I've a little spare cash in my account and absolutely no-one else I know has the time or the money to do anything.

I need a break, a mini adventure... something to spring me back into life again. 

24hr SOS answers on a postcard (or in the comments section below please).  If someone comes up with something feasable I'm going to jump on it and report back in a few days.

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Alistair Griffin - Just Drive

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0NoSP7RzaJc

Going the Distance

I just watched the movie going the distance, it was great and watching it I could see the kind of relationship/boyfriend I want. 

Films shouldn't be able to make things all happy ending and simple and easy and nice guys/girls don't finish last.  It makes people like me all hopeful and mushy wishing on a star like.  Other films for me guilty of the same sin:  PS I love you, The Holiday, Just Like Heaven, Sleepless in Seattle, Twilight and for some reason Juno. 

Too much to ask to find a guy who doesn't sweep me off my feet and make massive romantic gestures but rather someone who I click with, who makes me laugh, who is honest, caring and most of all, likes me for me?  Impossible I think.

People always keep harping on about 'when you aren't looking someone will come along and knock you off your feet' and you know what, I'm not convinced.  At this moment in time not only am I not looking, I have almost lost faith in the entire male species altogether and whats that I see.... that's right there is no prince charming riding towards me on his white horse and nor is there some 6ft brown haired hot guy blown away by me and asking for my number so he can take me out on a date.

I hold you responsible for this Hollywood - do you hear me!

PS: Keep voting if you want me to keep the blog going or not on the left hand side... with over 50+ hits a day at the moment and only 5 votes, its poor show bloggers!

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Bruno Mars - Just the way you are

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LjhCEhWiKXk

Matches & Voting Day

Last night was a giggle for me watching the matches come through, Red seemed to be lapping up the vertual attention and giggling along the way, but it was Six who seemed to be struggling with it all, feeling somehow under pressure to get lots of 'yes' votes. 

I think here is the downside to speed dating.  I have never needed a boyfriend or a man in my life to make me feel significant and so if i'm not particularly attracted to anyone there then no-one being attracted to me isn't upsetting but rather makes sense.  It became apparent that Red and Six are clearly the other type.

Anyway here's how it went down.  Only 7 of the 12 guys have put in votes which means the other 5 were probably unimpressed with anyone to warrent putting in the info - I don't really see the point in that tbh but there you have it.

• Red was ticked by numbers: 2, 4, 5 and 7 (4 and 7 much to our amusement), none of which she was attracted to.
• Six was ticked by numbers: 1 and then later that afternoon when he changed his vote from a no to a yes, number 4 (again amusing), none of which she has chosen.
• I was ticked by numbers: 1 and 2.  Number 2 I had ticked so the website swapped our details - I'm not going to be chasing it up.

I'm not sure how sucessful I would rate speed dating, I mean it is a way of meeting a lot of people in a short space of time, but for it to be sucessful for me, I think I would need to either change my taste in men or find some kind of niche dating event.  I do however think that speed dating may be the perfect thing for Red, and both she and Six seem keen to go again.

BLOG

So it is nearing the end of our time together, a few of you have emailed me etc to say you are sad it is going to end etc. and I don't think I have come as far in this year as I had wanted to so this is what i'm thinking.

I'm going to put a vote on the left hand side and let you guys decide if I should extend my blog... keep it going until the day after my 30th birthday (so another year and a couple of months), or whether I should just end this as planned on 31st December this year.

Also, I want to try and boost the followers to this blog for the rest of its time.  I have between 40 - 60 hits on the site per day and want to get this to like 70 - 80.  I'm going to put a link to it in a few places but if you can think of anywhere let me know, or post it yourself, pass to friends etc.

Over and Out x

The Results

After some deliberation last night I fixed my hair, painted on my face, dug out a pair of heels and checked in for speed dating 101.

Six, Red and I were extremely uncertain when we arrived at the event but figured we were there so we would stay.  The night consisted of twelve 4min dates with a break after date number six.  We were handed a name badge, number and score sheet on arrival and each girl was seated at a numbered table, while the men moved from seat to seat as the night went on.  It was intimidating, scary, funny and eye opening.  Six and Red loved it and want us to book for an event on the 30th with a better age range saying this one was 'a trial run'. 

So here's the list of the dates:

1. Malaysian/American semi-pro tennis playing investment banker.  Nice guy, a pleasant speed date but too short and too thin physically.
2. Liverpudlian 6ft 5ish sales rep, prominent jaw, super white teeth and although still masculine, suspiciously plucked/waxed eyebrows.  We spoke about learning guitar which was unusual but nice. 
3. Short fair haired Investment banker, seemed completely out of his element, polite, boring and unoffensive chat.
4. Local, Short, super white veneered teeth distributor with a super flashy bling ring. One of the older people there.  Jack the lad chat.
5. Software consultant, lots of facial hair, exceptionally polite, nice to talk to and had a look of 'please let me meet 'the one'' in his eye.
6. Persian biological geneticist, over 6ft, older, pleasant chat, intense eye contact.
7. Mr 'I'm only here because my flatmate came a week ago and had a great time'.  No chat.  Longest 4mins of my life!
8. Young and balding, funny teacher who yearns for the quiet life.
9. Short super excited to be here and talking to women teacher.  Witty and charismatic if slightly unhinged.
10. Older, shaved head, well groomed teacher.  Intelligent and witty chat, designer clothes.
11. Short, attractive, preppy Investment banker.  Great conversation about music, likes gigs and recommended a band I should check out.
12. Middle aged(ish) school teacher, exceptionally drunk on red wine.  Red teeth, lips and face.  Drunken chat.

So as you can see a pretty mixed bag and no ideal man.  We girlies submitted our scores this afternoon.  Red was havering over whether to give number 5 a 'yes' but decided against it last minute ticking no-one.  Six ticked numbers 2, 5, 10 and 11.  I decided to tick number 11 as I could see us having a giggle if we met up despite him being too short for me to want to date, and number 2 because he is tall, has great teeth and I figured I might as well.

I'll let you know who ticks each of us tomorrow.

REST OF NIGHT

We headed to a bar and shortly after Six headed home.  Red and I stayed out until 2am in bars etc as neither of us had work today.  We had a great night, seemed to attract an abnormal amount of male attention.  I met a hot guy who sings in a band, he gave me his number, we chatted some more and then at the end of the night I discovered he was waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay younger than I had thought so a crashing halt was called and Red and I headed back to my flat for some munch before calling her a taxi.

All in all an ok night.

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Played this song to get me in the mood for heading out.

Four Year Strong - Semi Charmed Life

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=taTtC_WfNN4

Speed Dating Night

Hey bloggers,

Thanks for all the comments and messages the last little while.  I'm feeling a little better now and as tonight is 'speed dating night' I thought it would be a good time to pick up the blog again.

To be honest, I'm not really in the mood to speed date this evening... my head is pounding, I've pretty much lived in my flat this last week and as for looking good... I'm going to give myself a 3/10 tops!  And that's only because I know eyeliner can work wonders.  Yes, I can safely say I am not looking forward to speed dating tonight at all.

Red and Six seem to be hyped for it, and if they had met each other before I'd probably jump ship and let them get on with it; as they haven't, I'm currently psyching myself up.

You see, meeting new people always makes me nervous, but I'm pretty good at just going with it, safe in the knowledge that I can paint on my 'witty and charming' face and get away with it - the problem this time is that I'm feeling about as witty as a paper bag.  My head is pounding, I'm going to have to spend at least an hour on my face alone as it is currently going through a stint of 'screw you sick girl acne', I missed my hair appointment on Monday as I was too unwell and so have white hairs peeking out my head and on top of it all... the event is at a cocktail bar!  Yes that's right... No regular Serendipity clothes for me, no, I have to dress up which when you are feeling like a wet kipper is not too much fun!

I have to go though, I can't let the girles down... but mannnn I wish I could.

Chances of me cancelling   10 to 1

Chances of me necking wine while getting ready  2 to 1

Likelihood of me turning up drunk  25 to 1

Likelihood of me even remotely being attracted to a guy at this event  80 to 1

And this week:

Likelihood of anyone finding me (aka the train wreck) datable  100 to 1

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Because it never fails to cheer me up!

Deep Blue Something - Breakfast at Tiffany's

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ClCpfeIELw&ob=av2n

Mooching & Movies

I'm not feeling too crash hot at the moment bloggers, hence the lack of blogging... Movies, Mooching and food that can be made in under 10mins is all that has been on the cards the last and probably the next 24hrs.

I'll be back and fighting fit in a few days, in the mean time feel free to suggest some movies to keep me entertained or to send me a few links in the comment bit.

Important Insignificance

'Whatever you do in life with be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it'  Ghandi

Pumpkins, Punch & Paramedics

Despite the decorations taking forever and a last minute trip to the hell that was asda a few hours before people started to arrive meaning we had less than 30mins to get ready... the party was a huge sucess!

I was perfectly blue and when hitting the streets for our challenge game, A lot of people commented on how cool I looked.  I'm struggling to get the paint off my skin now however despite 3 showers, a 2hr bath and an entire packet of baby wipes over the last couple of days - all in the name of an epic night tho.

Around 30 people came and went over the course of the night with about 20 people in the flat at any given time which was great.  Walliams and I were given a huge thumbs up for the decorations and the little tweaks we put in place like the syringe shots and the mannequin in the bath with a few people saying it was the best house party they had been to - get in!

Mr X dropped out at the last minute and was super stroppy when I saw him before hand to drop of the kitty cats (tell you about it later).  Duplo came which was great and made a bee line for me, we chatted for a while but ever the hostess I worked the room like a butterfly for the first few hours as people were arriving rather than being dragged into a 1 on 1 situ.  I had hoped to talk to him more later, however when we all headed out in teams to do the challenges he ducked out saying he wasn't up for it.  Verdict - if he wasn't up for 30mins of halloween nonsense then he wasn't the guy for me.

My camera was used by all and we ended up with around 150 pretty fantastic photos some of which are now gracing my facebook page. 

We had one person who without going into details was a fanny and we ended up calling an ambulance as it seemed the only sure fire way of getting her out the house so the party could commence as she was refusing to walk, wouldn't get a taxi and her parents wouldn't pick her up (how shitty are those parents?)

All in all the night was a great one... maybe I should look into events planning after Uni?

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Black Eyed Peas - I gotta Feelin

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rI0W6J3oyLA